The Most Successful Leaders I Know Have Rituals for Everything Except This

Almost every successful leader I speak with agrees that structure and rituals are essential for long-term success.

They have morning routines.

Workout schedules.

Quarterly planning sessions.

Leadership meetings.

Date and time blocks for their most important work.

Yet when the conversation shifts to intimacy and relationships, those same highly successful people often tell me they have very little structure around the most important relationship in their life.

I get it.

Twelve years ago, my daughter was two years old. My wife and I were both busy building businesses, raising a family, and trying to keep all the balls in the air.

We made the decision to invest in our relationship and started working with a coach.

One day she suggested something that immediately triggered me:

"Schedule a weekly sex date."

I remember pushing back hard.

"That doesn't feel natural."

"Sex should be spontaneous."

"If we have to schedule it, maybe we're not attracted to each other."

She smiled and said:

"Try it for 30 days and see what happens."

Well...

Here we are twelve years later.

Every Friday from 12:00 to 3:00 PM is blocked off on our calendar.

Our sex date.

The only times we miss it are when life genuinely gets in the way—our daughter is sick, school schedules change, or a family emergency pops up.

And even then, we reschedule it.

Just like we would an important business meeting.

Now, this doesn't mean we only have sex on Fridays.

It means that no matter what is happening in life, we have a standing commitment to prioritize intimacy.

And looking back, I believe this simple practice has been one of the most important contributors to the strength of our relationship over nearly twenty years of marriage.

Here's what I've learned:

Most people leave their relationship to chance.

But they would never build a business that way.

The leaders I know who create extraordinary businesses understand that consistency beats intensity.

The same is true in relationships.

Small actions, repeated over years, create extraordinary results.

To all the high performers reading this:

If you want more success in your relationship, don't just work on communication.

Build rituals.

Protect them.

Commit to them.

And if you're feeling brave, try the "sex date" experiment for 30 days.

You might be surprised by what happens when you give your relationship the same level of intention you've given your career.